HAHA, i’m being so awesome by posting so often! i feel so proud of myself! yay(: but yeah, this is going to be a reflective, deep post, not a happyhappy one. so watch out.

holidays turn everything topsy turvy. you grow close to people you usually aren’t close to, and distance away from people you were super close to. and its really a double edged sword. cause i get reminded why i completely adored someone before, but it also makes me wonder how we were ever close.

and its weird, cause when term starts, im gonna have to look at you and be like ‘hey! i know we were close but since we haven’t spoken to each other in so long even though we’re in the same country, its awkward.’ and i really don’t want that. its like making friends all over again.

but then again. there’ll be some people whom i will be genuinely happy to see! like honestly missed talking to them, and it springs back to being normal and awkward-free as though there was never a void. love these people ttm.

and WHY is it that sometimes you are ALWAYS here and make me so glad, then suddenly roll off the face of the earth although i know you still exist? how am i supposed to bring myself to trust you? i mean its all good fun and rainbows when you’re around and when you’re not.. well. :/

sigh, life is complicated.



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