Then we left for Sumitra’s partay! When we reached only the other guys were there, so V went to join them, then me, B and Y were just hanging around.. Then after a while we all joined up again and waited for Sumitra at the entrance place to surprise her! Then basically we ate and cut cake and stuff.
Then I started to feel really emo. There were a whole hoard of reasons tbh. Firstly, I didn’t want the night to end. Because I really didn’t want to go back home and school and all the other shit in my life. I’m just so sick of all the drama, and I wanted to stay there and forget about everything for a longer time, but I knew I had to face the music sooner or later, so I felt miserable about that.
Secondly, I knew that I wouldn’t be seeing my primary school friends again for quite some time. I mean, I’ve grown very attached to all of them, and I already miss them like asdfghjkl. I know I can always text them and stuff, but it just won’t be the same as being there with them and being retarded you know? And its like saying bye to a whole lot of friends at the same time.
Thirdly, things are okay between us mostly only when we’re facetoface together kind. I knew that things will just go back to the awkward, doyouexist thing once we leave which made me more miserable.
And last of all, going for Sumitra’s 16th really made me realize how fast we’re all growing. Call me cheesy and weird, but I was tearing up looking at all my friends, because it really hit me that soon enough, we’ll all be going our separate ways, maybe even overseas. And I really don’t know whether we’ll still be around in one another’s futures. I really want that, I do. But I just don’t know if it’ll happen you know? Cause we’ll all be in different places, busy with our own lives, and I just hope you guys will be able to make time for me, because I will definitely want to make time for you guys.
And all this talk about being at each others’ weddings and being godparents and going for road trips in Australia all sound perfect, they really do, but do they hold a place in our future?
I love all you guys to bits and pieces, I really do. I know it might not be so obvious, with my snarkiness and all, but you guys mean the world to me. If I’ve learnt one things from coming to RGS, its that its really rare to find true friends, without any ulterior motives, to be here for you. And you guys are that to me. Honestly. We’re all like sisters, well not the guys obviously. But we’ve gotten so close throughout all these years, that I can’t imagine my world without you, and I certainly don’t want to.
I know I bother you guys a lot, especially Benita, and I’m sorry, I’ll try and stop, its just that I’m too scared of losing you guys if I don’t. Because being in a different school from all of you is tough sometimes, because I know you guys have a heckload of memories together, without me, and that’s only natural, but I want to have more with you too you know?
Anyway, all this thinking made me really sad and teary eyed and emo towards the end of the night, and I started stoning and sulking, even through the game. And those of you who know me know that when I’m emo, I get really touchy and snarky and bitchy. Later, when we were all walking to the bustop, I kinda bitched out at the guys, although I knew that they didn’t mean anything, and I feel terrible for that.
SO IF ANY OF YOU ARE READING THIS, I’M SORRY.
And like I sent a pretty dao text to you later that night, and I felt bad about that today also. I tried apologizing, I have no idea what you’re thinking, but I hope you do know that I didn’t mean it, and I don’t want to break this fragile friendship kind of thing we have.
Why do all good days end badly?