Okay, so basically I’ve been set thinking about a lot of things recently. Kind of questioning a lot of things..
First of all, I was on the bus home from choa chu kang, and this couple got on the bus, with a baby. It was a Malay girl, maybe about 18-20 years old, no wedding ring on her finger. She had a multitude of tattoos, piercings, and she was cradling a baby, maybe about 2-3 years old. Her boyfriend sat across from her, next to me, and they were quarreling about financial problems, and the girl was in tears. She said that she had left her parents, trusting this guy (who looked dodgy tbh) and the whole ordeal was just very.. Idk. It kinda made me wonder how much this girl would regret her decisions and choices, and it made me really thankful about mine.
My parents have stuck through with me, teaching me right from wrong, and lending their support and wisdom in every decision I’ve had to make. They’ve never been too domineering, they have given me space and freedom to grow as a person, to make my own choices, but they will step in if they think I’m wrong. My school has been the safest, most conducive environment for me. I mean sure, its stressful, and its tough to find yourself in the midst of all the academic stress. But I’m forever grateful that I’ve never had to face anything like bullying, peer pressure, bad company, unwanted relationships. I know I’m probably too sheltered, but I’m glad. I don’t know what kind of person I’d have been if I didn’t go to RGS.
I think the choices I’ve made, will help me in the future. I am proud of the person I’ve become. I know, sure, I have my own faults. I’m stubborn, I overanalyze everything, I lack motivation and drive, but I have my good points too. I’m really proud to say that I am saving myself for the right one. I know its cheesy and all, but I want to be able to kinda just give myself as one whole, untarnished piece to the one I love. My family and my close group of friends have stopped me from getting into any kind of trouble. I haven’t drunk alcohol, I haven’t smoked, I haven’t taken drugs, I haven’t partied (not planning on doing any of this) And I haven’t disappointed my parents with the person I’ve become.
I know for all my classmates and schoolmates, this is the norm. I don’t think anyone I know are into this kind of thing, but seriously guys. The outside world is not like that. I have an older brother, and the stories he tells me are all very shocking. Our peers are doing really.. Funky stuff, and I’m glad I’m not. Maybe this means I have no life, maybe it doesn’t. But whatever. I’m happy with me.
At the end of the day, even if I lose everything, I just really want to maintain self respect and dignity. I want to be happy with the person I’ve become, and I don’t want to have a past that haunts me. I think girls who flaunt themselves and dress indecently are just misguided. I dunno what is running through their minds. I mean, you may get the attention of guys, but thats only temporary. They’ll only look at you as sex objects, never as an actual person. Other girls.. Well. Lets just say that you won’t be in their good books either. I mean, seriously.You can say that you’re just expressing yourself and all, but if nobody is going to respect you, how are you going to respect yourself? You have to start looking at yourself as a person, beyond looks, and show others that you have a PERSONALITY cause thats what counts. And just so its out in the open, girls like this might have relationships with boys, but how serious are they going to be? Looks only play so big a role in a marriage you know.
Okay yes, enough of preaching.
Secondly, I reallyreally want to have a relationship like my parents. Like they’ve set such a high standard for me, in terms of a married couple. Its really hard to find a couple with more understanding and love, in my opinion. My dad is the most caring guy ever seriously. He calls my mum every lunch, even if he’s in a meeting, to make sure that she eats her lunch. He surprises her at her office with food and they go to WCP for lunch. Once, she was working late and he brought a storybook to the office and sat there with her. He gets her something every time he goes overseas. And the only time they ever quarrel is when he is trying to get my mum to do something for herself. Like today, she was saying that maybe we should cancel our India trip because of all the expenses this year. And he was really firm about it. He said that its more important to him that she gets to spend Deepavali with her parents. And I was just like awh <3 These are like the only things they argue about because they have such good chemistry. They complement each other so well. They have really good mutual understanding and communication. Telling my dad something, is like telling my mum something. They never make decisions without discussing it with each other, and they alwaysalways sit together. They’re just really cute together la. Like they hold hands and smile, and my mum laughs at my dad’s bad jokes, my dad goes out at like 10.30pm because my mum felt like eating cake. And its just really heartwarming that they’re like this even after like 23+ years of marriage. I know a lot of people say that marriage is not a fairytale, but I’ve grown up watching my parents, and they’re living one. I guess I have them to thank for my high standards haha.
They’re just really good role models to me you know? Which brings me to my third point. My parents are such GOOD people. They just do so much of good. Like for example, the other day when we were coming back from picking my mum up, we saw like these foreign workers doing some work outside our building. And it was really hot, and they had been working for quite long la. So my parents, went to buy cold drinks for all of them (about 10 of them?) and the workers just looked so shocked and happy. They just.. Lit up you know? And it got me thinking, can you imagine how many people had walked past them and nobody had offered to get them drinks. I mean, it wasn’t a big deal for us, it only took like 10 mins of our time, but the looks on their faces when we gave it them was just.. Heartwarming. This is just one example, my parents do this kind of things all the time. And so many people look up to them. For instance, in my mum’s office, there are like 40-50+ guys from India. And they’ve all left their families and all to work as engineers, and send back money every month. My mum sees how hard they work, and we invite them over for dinner about 5-6 times a year. We either cater or hold in a restaurant. And they’re just so grateful whenever my mum invites them. Cause its a break from their hectic lives you know, and they don’t go out very often either.
I’ve seen how much they look up to my mum. I mean, my mum isn’t just a senior officer to them, she is like a mentor. They ask her for advice all the time. Like personal things! For example, today, my mum was telling me that this guy was asking her for advice. Cos, he has no parents, and he practically raised his sister since she was a little girl. And he was asking how to make sure she grows up properly with the correct values and all. Its just really sweet la. Cause my mum is like their surrogate mother or sth. And its just really touching.
My parents are such amazing people, and they’ve been such great role models for me. They’ve taught me so much about life. About family values, about morals, about work ethics, about marriage.. Its a never ending list really. And I’m just sososo indebted to them. I can’t wait to grow up, get a job and become successful, to become a daughter they can be proud of.
Okay really long post omg. This has been more of a post for ME rather than for others to read. I just needed to have it in writing, so I can read it and remind myself of all the things I learn on a daily basis. Cause all these lessons are so much more than academics.