I have been neglecting my blog.

Okay, I have so much to talk about, its crazy.
Firstly, EOYs. Of course. Right, so EOYs were a complete failure. I was seriously super demoralized by my marks, still am. I mean, I seriously put a lotlotlot of work into it, I studied my ass off. I dont think I’ve ever studied this hard, but in the end? My marks were still dismal. They were even WORSE than my MYAs, which weren’t even that good to begin with. I just dropped in like everything, except SS. Which I’m not even taking next year. This is so lame. Everything was bad. I’m not even exaggerating. Even English. And it just sucks. Its like I’m so stupid at everything, and I tell myself “Its okay Arathi! At least you have English!”
I just like telling myself that I can do English, that English is my thing. But I really don’t think so anymore. My EOY marks were just pathetic. I was especially disappointed with my essay. I mean, I thought it was okay when I wrote it, but when I got it back.. I was just so.. Disappointed really. There’s no other word for it. I agreed with all the comments: The scope was too limited, my vocabulary was limited, my tone was informal. It was just a huge mess. I couldn’t believe I wrote it. And everyone tells me that its only one exam, it doesn’t matter. But this is what matters the most! I mean, noone is going to care that I got 28/30 for my FA! All they’re going to see is my shitty marks for EOYs.
That is when it really hit me that I suck at everything. There is literally nothing I can do. I’m not good at anything. My Sciences suck. My humanities suck. And now, apparently my languages suck too. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do with myself, and I was so miserable, that I broke down in the Tamil room. I’m so thankful that I had Es and Sharni next to me. They were just comforting me, and helped me to calculate my GPA hahaha. The best case scenario is like 3.26 -.- But they made me feel a lot better. I’m reallyreally thankful for my friends, I love you guys <3
I am going to go for courses at BC this hols, I don’t care. Going to rescue my English!
NEXT, I’m going to talk about Claire! Okay, I just have to blog about this. Claire is like one of my favourite people in the world. Definitely makes my top 10 list (: She is an amazingamazing person, and I’m forever grateful to have her in my life. 
I’ve been in the same class as her for 4 years now, and I’ve learnt so much from her. She is such an inspiration really. Apart from the part where she is perfect (SERIOUSLY THAT GIRL IS GOOD AT EVERYTHING) she is just SUCH a good person, you know? 
She is incredible at making people feel immediately comfortable with her. She knows how to make someone feel great, and there’s like no awkwardness at all. Even if you’ve just met her a few minutes ago. 
She’s so helpful and generous and kind. 
She has always been there for me. Through 4 years of paper checking (geographical location haha) she just has to look at me, and she kind of sees through everything. Always offers me a hug when I need it. 
She loves Indians (always a plus!) 
I think one of the things I love most about her, is her drive. She is so motivated and driven. She wants to do SO many things, and you know she’ll get it done! She’s hardworking, she’s productive. And at the same time, somehow, she manages to maintain direction, you know? Esp in an environment like Raffles, you’re always just rushing around, and going with the flow. You don’t have much of direction, but Claire? She knows exactly what she wants, and how to get it.
I really hope we keep in touch, if not I’m gonna miss her like crazy, I’m not even kidding. Yesterday, was sitting with her at the grand piano in the hall. Claire was singing and playing, and it just really touched me. She played ‘Still’ which has always been my favourite christian song, hands down. The lyrics have always moved me, and I really feel for it, even if I’m not of the faith. Then she sang ‘Deadly Beauty’ by Faces Without Names. I was majorly tearing up, no joke. Its a reallyyy sad song, and Claire gave me the most gorgeous rendition. Her voice is just so amazing, and I could tell that she really felt for the song. I was just like trying not to start crying. I think her version was just so much more heartbreaking (although its a good song, go listen to it!)
I love you Claire. 
I know we may not be the closest of friends, but I really do care a lot about you, and you’ve made a great impact on my life. I treasure every moment I’ve had with you <3
Okay, lastly, I reallyreally want a Kindle. My parents agreed to get me one! :D exciting ttm! But somehow I feel like I don’t deserve. I really want it though. Its the most magical invention known to mankind
(okay its not, but still) 
Yes okay. I will try to post more often now okay! I know I have been neglecting my blog, sorry!! 

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