P.I.M.P

Potential Indian Mate Phenomenon.

This is real guys, it’s amazingly legit. I have found Reetaza and Emiline who understand EXACTLY how I feel and I know Alagu does too. I cannot emphasise how true all of this is going to be. If you are an Indian girl you will KNOW what I am talking about, and if you are an Indian boy, please don’t get offended, I understand this is a generalization and there are some Indian guys I get along fine with, but I need to get this out.

When an Indian girl and an Indian guy are put together in a situation, shit gets awkward. I deduced that it’s because THE OTHER PERSON IS A POTENTIAL MATE. I know I sound crazy, but it’s totally true. You have an immediate bond with the other person, and you feel like you KNOW them even though you don’t and it feels like any little sign of friendliness will be misinterpreted!! In the words of Reetaza: Two seconds of awkward eye contact and it’s like YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY FUTURE HUSBAND AHHHHH. It’s terrible and painful, and I wish it didn’t exist but it totally does. With Indian girls and Chinese/Malay boys its like immediate FRIENDZONE but with an Indian guy there is a WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY.

One situation which totally explains this? Double whacko. You know when I’m sitting in a circle of new people and playing double whacko, the indian guy’s name is always stuck in my head. Everytime it’s my turn, that person’s name starts resonating through my head (raaaj raaaaaaaaaj) (no I don’t know anyone called raj, it was a random indian name) and I need to make a conscious effort to NOT call that person!! Its like Ra- I mean AMANDA. It’s so difficult okay you have no idea.

I would like to make this clear: I am not on the prowl for a potential husband, so boys, please stop making things awkward here and work with us!!! If I wave at you after several awkward half-conversations around school, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. I just cannot handle the awkwardness anymore, I JUST WANT TO BREAK THE ICE AND BE ON SMILING WAVING TERMS SO I DON’T FEEL LIKE TWITCHING EVERYTIME I SEE YOU. So just wave back okay. You are allowed to be friendly, we are not going to misunderstand. Anyway, most Indians have an inbuilt Indian radar. I can sense Indians in the canteen frighteningly accurately. So if you are one of these people I ALWAYS see and like you’re friends with all my friends, please just be friends with me (unless you’re creepy) We need to overcome this manmade barrier. Indian girls can be automatic friends, why can’t Indian girls and Indian guys be automatic friends? Please don’t not be friends with me cause of P.I.M.P okay!!

It’s such a relief when you can just be friends with an Indian guy without all the awkward fuzzy zone nonsense. Just plain, platonic, friendly terms. Such a welcome breath of fresh air.

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