I’m so tired of everything I really am. At the end of the day I just feel like a really terrible person and idk why anyone is friends with me you should all just leave and save yourselves. I seem to hurt everyone and screw up everything and my attempts at fixing things never work. Everytime I get upset then a few days later I realise that in reality it’s all really my fault and like maybe I just don’t deserve friends. People say stuff like “nobody can be angry with Arathi” but like I genuinely think I deserve to be hated cause sometimes I hate myself. Like now. I really dunno how I always manage to fuck things up so beautifully. In the end I really do end up hurting the people I most care about and that’s inexcusable. Sometimes I think I’m a good person but like then everything hits and I realise that I am really not. I can be a self absorbed dumb bitch who just ruins lives. I should just like move away and live by myself so I don’t hurt anyone anymore.
Right now the only person I should be worrying about is my mum, but so many other things are demanding for my attention and I’m just so.. Tired. I just want to forget about everything and go to sleep for a long time.