Capacity

It’s scary how much sadness you can hold in your heart at one time. Sometimes it feels like I’m just going brim over, all the excess will just leave and I’ll be able to breathe without a burning pain in my chest again. There’s a tipping point right? No.

A heart expands and expands, with love, sadness or hate. It expands to hold everything that you can possibly feel and it settles as a heaviness in your tummy. One day it will leave, as quickly as it came, but till then? It feels pretty crappy.

It doesn’t mean that I can’t laugh or smile or crack jokes. Being sad doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with friends. Being sad doesn’t sap everything else from my life. Being sad just means that once I’m away from the bustle of life, I settle into an insidious gloom. When my head isn’t full of voices, it’s full of a resounding silence that hits harder than any words can.

Yet, when people ask me why I’m sad, I have nothing to say.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s